Monthly Archives: December 2015

Peregrinations that always return to Blyss and my borzois

There seems to be no end to the peregrinations of the unquiet mind .   I travel so many circuitous roads along my journey believing all the while I have found it this time and only to be disappointed later.  How many times can I do this, I ask?

What is the root of this restlessness?  Could it be the words that echo throughout my memory, “If you don’t like it you can get out”?   or, “It’s my way or hit the highway”. Or just a simple,  “I”m  going,  don’t look back.”   Whatever it is, I have embraced husbands, horses, dogs and cats, travel, and expensive real estate to no avail.  Now I dream of a fantasy donkey that I cannot even offer a home to.   And so, I sit beneath this roof here with at least the borzois, Jelly and Tresor, Angels, who give me love in full measure.  I know I am lucky but why do I want to run away?  Why is it so hard to just be here, in this time and place, and simply be happy or content?  Is so much really wrong?

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We just got back last night with the borzois from Cape May, a lovely, charming town with a large section of preserved Victorian houses, many of which are small hotels or bed and breakfast inns.   They were decorated for Christmas and we went there specifically to take  a Christmas house tour.  It was splendid to be there at Christmas for me again after an absence of decades and to show it to LT.  There is so much splendid beauty to see within the walls of very old, wooden structures that require much maintenance simply to hold up to the extreme exposure to wind and water over a century and more!  They are all labors of love, each one a unique jewel in itself.  It is a beautiful thing that there are not only so many of them preserved but so many people who chose to dedicate their lives and spend their financial resources maintaining them in this prime condition.  If my own little Mountainside cottage costs me what it does, I can only gasp at the thought of the cost of maintaining such stately mansions as these.  This section of town is nothing less than a living museum.   I can see it no other way, and I am not alone in my opinion.  I am so pleased to see the town bursting with tourists as excited to see it lit up for Christmas as I was!  There was also a Christmas Parade that’s starting point was marching down Broadway, the street in West Cape May where our “pet friendly” inn, Highland House was, giving us a perfect viewing station out of our bedroom window!  We were told that this year marked its 50th year of high quality fun and class that you just don’t see in New Jersey every day.  It was complete with floats, fire trucks lit up like Christmas trees, talented musicians and singers, so much so that we thought we were watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  Cape May, a true year round town, is a town all of New Jersey should appreciate with pride.  I am always so happy to be there!  The borzois and LT enjoyed themselves immensely, too!

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But then it is time to return to the inevitable place my home with Blyss Kennels in Mountainside.  It is not my farm in Pennsylvania or my own small home by the sea, homes that consume my days fantasizing about.  In one, I have a large fenced field for the borzoi, and a barn where I keep one retired horse and a donkey.  At my home by the sea, it is totally different.  My house is more like my Mountainside cottage, only it is decorated differently.  There,  I only am there with my borzoi, Tresor and Jelly.   I grow flowers in a garden and lead a more relaxed life.  I am more content and at peace here.  All is well.  But, I do not feel this way here in my current home, although I am working on achieving my serenity with the life I have.  Too many fantasies about my wandering ways are dangerous.

A fragile mind at Blyss

I cannot say for sure why it is so, perhaps it is the stress of the upcoming holiday season combined with Tresor’s mystery neck pain and the need to spend more money in general, and the expectation to be happier than normal, but everything seems more difficult for me these days instead.  However, I am determined to overcome it all and look to the happy things that only a holiday season can bring.  Things like seeing more of everybody, gift buying and giving, and days where the word “love” is more on my lips.  For yes, I do love LT and my son so much.  Then, going over to the borzois, I could not love two borzoi any more than I love Jelly and Tresor.  All of these people and they are my world.

But what I really want for Christmas and the New Year is to fly away…..NOT to go to the Caribbean but instead  to go away to a different place to live, on a small farm in a rural area.  I want it to have a small but comfortable house, but also a small barn, a barn yard, and some fenced fields.  I want my borzois mainly, and a donkey and some goats.  This is my vision and I can’t make it go away.  It is impossible to do in New Jersey where I live.  And so, it torments me.  However, I am not going to do anything about it.  I mention it to those close to me from time to time and they do not support the idea at all.  They point out I would have to move out of state.  That would be very difficult for me to do.  So, I don’t know how I could bring this about.  For now, I am trying to keep it under the radar screen and talk and think about it as little as possible.  However, I know it is there and it pains me.  No one can create problems out of thin air the way I can.  I guess I’m “talking to angels, counting the stars, making a wish about King Kong, dancing with strangers and falling apart, waiting for Superman…”

Tresor seems to have recovered nicely from the pain in his neck for which we are very grateful.  His pain is gone and he is back to his old self, going here and there, back and forth, in the house.  He has resumed his enjoyment of his yard and deck.  But The Boy proved he still has the Fire in his Belly on a walk with me on Thanksgiving when he Lost It and got a nano-second ahead of me, broke away and gave a neighbor’s standard poodle a nip on her flank.  I ended up on the ground devastated with embarrassment, but the hero appeared to be Tresor because the person walking the poodle was with a group of friends, and they all fell in love with him!  There is no logic in this world but my solution to this suburban madness is that I will no longer walk Tresor.  Instead, my partner, LT, will walk him.   There is never a dull moment living with The Tre.  I am sure it is due to reasons such as this that his former human family returned him.

The other irregularity to occur on Thanksgiving and the days leading up to it is that the weather has been unusually balmy for this time of year and I have been able to spend a lot of  quality time outside with the borzois.  It has been fun having these stolen balmy days, like early fall instead of late fall, with temperatures well in the sixties.  Another event Thanksgiving had to give was a dramatic red sunset in the west as if the sky was aflame.  I got to see it because I happened to be out walking Jelly when it was at its peak.  These are just some of the advantages one gains by walking dogs, you never know what you will see in the sky or right in front of you, for that matter.  It was fun to see it, as if it were a sunset at Key West, or other places known for beautiful sunsets, and there it was descending in the Western sky behind the Watchung Mountains.   In the future, I am looking forward to showing Tresor again in March, at the New Brunswick Kennel Club Show in Edison NJ.  In the meantime, I keep busy working for my main borzoi breed club, and I only hope my dual roles of Show Chair and Secretary do not block me from showing him.