Category Archives: WatchungReservation

Blyss Reminiscing about other borzois and friends

It was the day of the B Match for Borzoi Club of Central New Jersey, August 6, 2017.  I was not showing a borzoi and did not bring any of mine for demonstration.  I would have liked to, but it would have meant keeping Tresor home alone for a longer time than I would have wished.

It was so nice being with my Club members, people who truly are friends of mine and with whom I feel collegial. People come and go at shows.  Since I had to miss the last Club meeting in June due to a conflict with Plainfield Kennel Club, it had been a long time since I had seen anyone.  To my surprise, two separate households had acquired new borzoi.  I was and am so happy for them.  What joy!

To an almost unusual degree, several people seemed to want to talk to me a lot.  I know people missed me from the last meeting I missed, and I tried to catch up with those who were interested in me, and I them.  The day was running along in a socially supportive and positive way and I was very pleased.

I had the occasion to speak with a dear couple I know whose  borzoi passed away last year under the saddest of circumstances.  I tried to be supportive and sympathetic.  This story still hurts me to think of, due to its senselessness.  Unfortunately, the dog did not have to die but no one really is the culprit.  It comes down to how to live with and manage borzois.  How does it work best?  How to make the borzoi happy?  What if you chose to do otherwise and brush aside good, sound advice?  Sadly, it will result in a sad or sick borzoi, or a very neurotic borzoi, a borzoi that cannot be a normal borzoi, which is determined by its genes.

My son, Graham, lives in the East Village of NY City.  He tells me there are all kinds of dog breeds living in the city, including borzoi.  Breeders who, 20 years ago, would never sell a borzoi to someone who lives in an apartment now do so.   It can be done, I suppose, but it requires a lot of extra care on the part of the owner socializing and exercising it.  In that way, a borzoi is a high maintenance breed.  I have a hard time with Tresor and Jelly living in a suburb however  I make it work.  Fortunately I live near many open fields and a preserved forest park, Watchung Reservation.  It has several very large open fields and a network of hiking trails.

Due to my age, I am beyond being able to do much hiking anymore, so I take Jelly to the Scouting Field in Watchung Reservation, where local people drop by in the evening and if their dog is well behaved, they are allowed to run and play off leash.  Jelly is allowed to come here and has other relationships with both people and dogs whom she has met there.    However, due to his great strength, I can no longer walk Tresor on a leash, so he is confined to the back yard unless one of his dog walkers is available to take him for a leash walk.  I wish it were otherwise, but it is what it is for him.  I do my best.  Life goes on.  I find myself saying a lot, “If I were 20 years younger…..”

And no, I don’t think I will be getting a borzoi puppy any time soon.

Blyss Kennels at Fourth of July 2017

Only I could arrive here, safely and alone with Tresor and Jelly besides me in this house, as if navigating our own small ship, on the eve of the Fourth of July. Although in my mind’s eye, I imagine myself with them bobbing on gentle waves riding along the NJ coastal shore in the Atlantic ocean.  I reminisce, it is a delightful time to be in Mountainside.  It creates the most enchanting illusion that it is about one-hundred years earlier, when there were not so many houses built along the side of this mountain, the first ridge of the Watchung Mountain range.  With heavily wooded lots replete with lumbering shade trees, and deer appearing here and there as if they were pets, one can easily drive by a house and not see it.

My walks with Jelly have been telling.  You have to pay attention.  She enjoys walking in the field behind the Catholic Church across the street.  This is the exact site where I had my accident walking Tresor last year after he saw a ground hog.  Jelly does not run around much, but she looks for squirrels and rabbits.  One evening, at a distance away, I saw  pair of frolicking fawns, their tiny bodies still covered with white spots.  The doe appeared a minute or two later.  We both froze and watched them.  When they were out of sight, we continued our walk.  Later, on the Rectory lawn, we saw two large young bucks enjoying the nearby foliage.  Then I saw the special little blinking; fire flys!  I was transported back decades in the split of a second.  It was a beautiful night.  I let Jelly off leash.  She wanted to stalk a rabbit.  She did her thing.  She is no hunter.  The rabbit got away onto a neighbor’s lawn.  She followed it there.  I called her, and she took her very sweet time coming back to me. She was a brat. For that, I put her on the leash!  But overall, Jelly is such a good companion dog.

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Reading Facebook this week, I saw more news of the great show bitch, “Lucy”.  She is the grand-daughter of our Majenkir bitch, “Mikhailya”, who left this world four years ago on June 13th.   “Lucy”  won her twentieth Best in Show, and a wonderful photograph was posted of her.

Lucy & Valerie Nunes-Atkinson #20 BIS

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For my own reasons, valid and not, my heart breaks for being here alone except for my dogs.  I am not that kind of person who is solitary very well.  I long for interaction, dialog, having things to look forward to doing with someone.    I put a lot into my relationships, and they are all gone, many to death.  Many people in my life have died, and I am only in my mid-sixties.  That rather shocks me.

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My beautiful borzois inspire me to be more than I am, for I know they need me and I must be at my best for them.  I run my hand through their beautiful white coats and embrace them to my heart!  Jelly!  Tresor!

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It was almost two years ago today that Tresor was returned to me by his family who owned him for four years.  I do not like to think of those years without him.  But, once he was returned, it was like he never was gone at all.  We picked up our relationship as if we just saw each other the day before.   I consider Tresor a gift and a blessing in my life.

Tresor in his youth

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Finally, it was around the Fourth of July in 2006 that Blyss Kennels endured its first tragedy and loss, the death of Opal at nineteen months of age.  My grief for her was lengthy and profound.  I became shockingly ill, but I could not control how it made me feel.  Today, looking back on it, I don’t know how I survived the experience.  I had to learn how to be well again and find new ways to be happy.  Life had let me down, after all.

Today, I try to remember Opal with joy in my heart.  I had the best borzoi I ever could have had.  She made me extremely happy;  she just could not stay with me very long.  However, I am still very lonely and unhappy without her!  I beg God to please unite us sometime soon.  I want to touch her exquisitely beautiful borzoi face again, and run my fingers through her silky, white coat.  She glowed and sparkled in the sun!  Her body had stunning sighthound curves that made her look so graceful.  I have never seen a creature like her before or since.

Opal wins her first Class!
Bucks County KC Show

I still love her so much.  And when I think of her, I think of the words of that gorgeous Pearl Jam song, “Come Back”

Then, there were my own feeble words, Opal’s Prayer:

Unable to deny His request to take her, Opal lives in heaven now.

How?  Why?  Thy will be done.  Dear God,  Opal is yours now!

Please take care of her every day.

May we meet again, Dearest Little One!

 

A Walk near Blyss that brought me joy

With the apparent arrival of spring throughout the town and its magnificent surroundings, that being Mountainside, Summit and the Watchung Reservation in particular, I ventured about outdoors to experience it firsthand while it was still fresh in its glory.  Starting with the Watchung Reservation, it was magnificent to see the leaves out their first day after being buds.  Then, there were the flowering bushes and trees everywhere I drove about: azelia, Bartlett pear, and magnolias.  And then there were the flowers, both wild and cultivated, and I cannot say enough about them.  At a club luncheon with friends on Thursday, a women recommended taking the time to stop and see the field of daffodils at the Reeds Arboretum in Summit, a place I drive by all the time.  I realized  how foolish I was never to stop and sit for a while, so I made it a point to later that very day.  As that silly saying goes, “Take time to stop and smell the roses”.

I had been there before, actually for meetings and programs in the old mansion that has been preserved for such purposes, but never actually to enjoy its many gardens.  I thought that was rather a dumb omission on my part, too, always thinking, I must find the time to drive by this way and drop in for a while……   but never do.  I found my effort to have been well worth it.  Yes, the many thousands of daffodils were still in bloom, and according to the nearby plaque, all 30,000 of them, in a geological bowl shaped formation caused by a glacier.  How beautiful a vista they made!  Seeing all those blossoms in one place reminded me somewhat of the Presby Memorial Iris garden  in Montclair, NJ, not too far away.  My husband, Bob, who grew up in Montclair, used to take me there.  We both had a great love of irises and had them at the first house we shared together, on Oak Tree Road in Mountainside, before we had our borzoi and lived on Summit Lane.   It’s too early to visit there yet, about another four to six weeks for irises.

Perhaps I can retain some of the splendor we achieved in the Oak Tree Road gardens here.  It will be difficult because I am doing it alone.   Yes.  That word again.  Alone.

My landscaper can bring in the mulch and other soil supplies, but for the most part, I will be on my own.  I find when I am in the garden working, still in the weeding phase, the borzoi are nearby.  I know they would rather be out walking somewhere, especially the Watchung Reservation.  Tresor would like to be running loose, looking for another dog to fight, disobeying me by not coming back when called.  Jelly just wants to walk by my side like the Lady she is.  She knows how to present the best possible picture of her canine self.

Everyone Jelly meets  falls in love with her on sight.  I take her on long walks with me and she meets people wherever we go.  She also gets taken to the Scouting Field in Watchung Reservation where she runs and plays off leash with a Dalmation named Lazarus.  He is a constant there and her best friend.  I leave her there with his owner, and she brings her back to me hours later after she and Lazarus have had their long and happy canine play date.

Afterwards, it is the dogs’ dinner time and they eat heartily.  Jelly may not always eat her breakfast, but she always eats her dinner.  The days are moving along more the  way I would like them to of late.  The departure of winter is an enormous help for me.  I am able to do more varied things and enjoy my surroundings and especially the borzois I love so much, my beloved Tresor and Jelly.  Moreover, in addition to the enormous weeding project outdoors, I am tackling the job of interior, or shall I say, mental weeding, trying to get rid of all the bad thoughts and memories of the winter before that disturbed me so much.

I would like to add one more thing before ending, that on Monday this week, April 17, my Jelly was seven years old.  I am so lucky to have her.  She is a comfort to me in this world that I never believed could be possible.  I can never thank her breeder, Frances Wright, for letting Jelly come to live with me two years ago.  I am forever in her debt.

Blyss Transitions of Seasons and Life

Sometimes I do not know how I go on one day to the next.  Much is happening here at Blyss.  Some of it is very private, such as my relationships; some pertains to my life with borzoi, such as Lucy’s continued good fortune in the ring; some pertains with my colossal efforts to make serious changes to my outlook on life in order that I may be more successful going forward.   I expect to do better in the short term going forward.

First of all, my borzois, Tresor and Jelly, are doing well.  Both recently went through a period of harrowing, serious health scares.  Then, winter has gone, and we are slowly easing into the rising temperatures of spring.  It is April now, and soon there will be the seemingly sudden greening of the Mountain behind me, that dimension of ancient places, the Watchung Reservation, that I call home, in my back yard.   Moreover, I have been called upon to do a job for my primary breed club as Show Chair for our Specialty show in September.  Having spent the second half of the day and evening working on it, I am confident it will be completed very soon, pending the answers of some questions I asked of the President.

There is now a thaw in a formerly cold relationship but sadly I expect the relationship to remain forever in the past.  My assessment of the man was correct when I said good-bye.   I have further come to believe he hurts me so much because he, along with another man I recently loved, is a cad but for a different reason.  For, like the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz, he has no heart.   I am  looking for a different kind of partner for my world, one who may have some space in his life for a woman like me.  It sounds so simple when put this way but this person is very elusive to find.  Although it’s been easy to lose all hope, I will be committed to finding such a partner until the day I die.

In the meantime, there is the special beauty of Tresor and Jelly who make every day a special gift of love, grace and beauty.

Jelly at home

More Good News and Some Bad at Blyss Kennels

Undoubtedly, there has been much to be happy about at Blyss Kennels.  Tresor and Jelly are both well, even if I am taking Tresor to the veterinarian’s office tomorrow about an abscess on his gum.  I am not going to let them make me worry tonight.  We had an unseasonably warm steak of weather for February, with temperatures in the 60s and mid-70s.   So yes, all this is good news.  And recently, the beautiful international champion bitch, “Lucy”, the grand-daughter of our Majenkir bitch, “Mikhailya”, won Best in Breed and placed in the Hound Group two years in a row at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in New York City on February 14, 2017.  My son, Graham, and I were both there in attendance on Tuesday night to see the final judging.  Last year, “Lucy” went all the way and was awarded Reserve Best in Show.  My heart stopped.  It was one of those rare times when I thought of my late husband, and hoped somehow or somewhere, he was watching that joyful moment.

So why did I break down in private so badly?  How could something so banal make me so ill?  What, or shall I say who was behind it, if anybody?   Who holds so much power over me, yet did?  Even I was shocked at the slope of the trajectory and the speed at which I slid downwards on it once it got in my way. But it did.  And for those who want to read about the dirt, so bad that not even borzoi love could protect me from, here it is.

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Dumped.  In retrospect I probably never had a chance.    Your way…. a cad’s way…….   I cannot recall a cross word….. and when I believed in us most of all you dissipated in silence.

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There are the darkest nights that envelop me through the longest days to eternity………  and leaving me feeling so defeated I embrace the darkness until it becomes comfort.

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I seek the special forest high in the mountain in the sun    Where a wild hawk can soar so high above the tops of the trees as if by magic then is out of sight.  Or, slivers of light in the night – stars –  Guide our feet along many winding trails.  I encounter strangers there. “Where is your home?”, they ask?  “Let me take you there.”    And I reply, “No.  It’s gone forever.  Good-bye, Friends, far and wide. Good-Bye.”

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Saturday night.  No sound but the inhales and exhales of sleeping hounds.   Tomorrow I must get up.  It is what is expected of me.

Lasts week I lingered long at the ledge…..     An instrument of harm in my hand……   Though the bleeding was only in my mind……   the pain lacerated through.

Here one minute gone the next……   You inhale love exhale hate like yoga……  To the din of racing thoughts…..  Someday you will let me know.

Still down but stirring.  Learning to walk.   Journeys beckon.  I can do better than this……   Be my star that I can follow….. a reason……..  To raise my eyes unto the mountain for my comfort!

Late November 2016 at Blyss Kennels, updates about the borzois

By late November, you can’t lie to yourself anymore and think that it is still summer or fall.  Like being at the end of your life and your beauty is dimmed, you are not in the springtime of your youth and therefore not the first pick of the boys.  The inevitable bitter cold with biting, raw winds bear down from wherever they come from as you try to go about your kennel work suddenly turning what once brought you joy in your beauty it into an unpleasant ugly chore.  To make things even worse, Jelly sustained a bad injury on her forelegs by falling down hard on them while running off leash in the Watchung Reservation, making it necessary to go to an Emergency Vet nearby and the beginning of many visits to “Dr. Mary” for “bandage changes”, making it a very expensive injury from which to recover.  The lacerations cut across her wrist joint and the challenge was to keep the wounds covered until they were healed to avoid osteomyelitis or “septic joint”.  So, all of that  has been happening, and after three weeks, there is still one wound wrapped although it is becoming noticeably smaller.  I feel as if I live on Rt. 78, the long road I need to take to get to another road that takes me to Washington, NJ, where our regular vet office resides.  I would not let another vet practice touch my borzois, as I learned the hard way from past experiences.

There has been much in the way of good news, too.  I still see announcements on Facebook of Mikhailya’s great-grandson, “Vinto” wining Best in Show placements in Japan on a regular basis.  How proud we all are of him.  But not only of him, of his great dam, “Lucy”, who still does a lot of Best in Show winning here in the States, herself.  The next very big show will be the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in February in New York City.  That will be followed by the Borzoi Club of America National Specialty Show in Hunt Valley, Maryland, the week of May 10 – 17, 2017.  I can only wait and wonder if Lucy’s owners will show her in these shows again.  It is just hard to say, and I am not privy to this information.  Perhaps they will bring “Vinto” back since he has done so well in Japan.  If I were their owners, that is what I would do, but I am not.

I have been trying to keep my spirits up, but with the onset of the holiday season, it is very difficult.  I have been reading more, in the historical biography area.  I just finished the Ellie Bolles Ellison (2014) The True Mary Todd Lincoln, and want to read the Chernow  biography of Hamilton fame, since I can’t afford to spend $1,000.00 on a Broadway ticket to see the play.  It’s comical that this milestone has come about.  I could say more about this in light of the outcome of the recent presidential election, but I demur.  However,  I digress.  What I mean to say is, by reading it creates the illusion that I am in the company of others and it distracts me from the intense loneliness I feel.  It appears that I am not anybody’s cup of tea.  Watching the movies on Turner Classic Movies has the same effect.  I think I will try to do more reading in the new year, or, it depends on what movie is playing.  Perhaps I can be more selective.

The well being of Jelly and Tresor are all I can ask or expect.  Nothing else really matters at this point, as long as I can rise each morning and do what I need to do every day.   But I know all too well how alone I am and how much the responsibility for Jelly and Tresor weighs on me.

At this time, I can identify other areas that are critical and important, and I will be writing more about them in the year to come.

In particular, one area of interest that developed for me in 2016 and about which I have written before was the need for donkey rescue.  I have begun to see more attention given to this cause throughout the year.  Facebook has many groups with people who have a keen interest in this topic, and in recent months, the New York Times, reversing a long period of disappointment I have had in them, has taken up the topic with vigor.   And as donkeys require awareness and assistance, so it goes for all equines, horses, large and small.  I hope I can raise the level of awareness somewhat in Blyss Blog readers while still remaining true to the focal topic of this blog, the borzois of Blyss Kennels and challenges and joys I have living with them.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  In spite of many sorrows, I have much to be thankful for.  I hope you do, too.

 

 

Early November, Blyss Kennels, Mountainside, NJ. Musings about the Mountain

This time of year, early November, one cannot look away for long and not see the spectacular beauty of the mountain along which Mountainside is located.  And, a large part of the town is stretched out along the bottom, so one cannot help but notice as the town’s people go about to and fro performing their life’s work, they feel surrounded by a wall of forest behind them or that they can look up to, a wall that changes colors with such consistency and accuracy you can base your life on it.  Moreover, contemplating the constancy of the mountain, I always recall the following words:

“I lift my eyes up into the hills, for from there comes my help!”  Psalms 1:1

  We are just now, in early November, somewhat past the peak of fall foliage, however I want to comment how lovely a season it has been and how grateful I have been for that.  When driving around along many of the town’s roads or on the highway that cuts across the town at the southern point, US Highway (Rt.) 22, you are driving parallel with the mountain.  There are three main roads that take you from Rt. 22 through the town and into the mountain with the preserved forest at the top, “Watchung Reservation”. They are Summit Road, Central Avenue, and New Providence Road, like Rt. 22, ancient roads.  These days, Blyss Kennels today is located in the vestiges of an old farming neighborhood on Central Avenue.  My house, built in 1920, is a small cottage along side a large field giving the impression that it is my own front yard.  It is not, alas.  Many photographs of myself with my borzois have been taken in this bucolic setting perpetrating this illusion shamelessly.  It is worth mentioning because I have a strong sense of place, and I believe my borzois, those currently living and those deceased, are and always have been happy here.

Moreover, I know it now with certitude, my  borzois are happiest with me and  me alone.  We do not need anyone else.  Oh yes, sometimes I may want a dog-sitter or another dog-walker for them from time to time.  Otherwise, I am sufficient.  And I have come to realize I only want them, with their perfect love; their pure love; them and God.  We need no other.  Yes, like the wild meadow fields that one comes upon hiking in the Watchung Reservation, the land formerly cultivated for corn and other crops, my field is a spectacular beauty here at home, enjoying it together with them.

“……Even though the moment passed me by I still can’t turn away.”  Goo Goo Dolls.  Name.

How interesting it is that when contemplating the beauty of nature, even a relatively small mountain in a suburban community, how much one learns about oneself if they take the time to consider it’s presence and beauty.

Coda.  I may have the misfortune of outliving my “field” while living here if it is sold to developers.  Its owner died two years ago and his heirs want to sell it.  I can’t do anything about that and  I don’t have the means to purchase it myself.

Blyss Perceptions of Changes of the Seasons and of Life

Lorene with Paris, Delaware Bay, Goshen NJ
Lorene with Paris, Delaware Bay, Goshen NJ

Summer seemed to last long here at Blyss Kennels in Mountainside, NJ during this otherwise uneventful fall of 2016.  The heat lingered well into October and the need to use the furnace then was only intermittent.  No sooner did I turn it on than the temperature climbed up to 75 degrees in the morning again.  In other times, I would have taken my borzois in the van and gone to Cape May to one of a few inns that allowed us to bring them.

The memories of those happy days and the companions who assisted me there are long past.  Perhaps I could go there with Jelly, but I could never go and leave Tresor behind, and I could never bring them both.  I am friendless these days, so I would have no help with Tresor, alas, I am  stuck home for the gorgeous month of October.  Not only that, the temperature in Cape May is ten full degrees warmer than it is in Northern New Jersey.    The thought of the happy times I have lost is like a twisted dagger in my heart.  The most recent friend, whom once I thought was so true and loving, turned out to be like so many others before, untrue and hateful, so much so, that I asked him to leave.   After he left, I felt as if I jumped off a cliff into an abyss of fear – without a bungee chord.

Portrait of Jelly Maxine Bochnia
Portrait of Jelly
Maxine Bochnia

My poor borzois, who love to be taken to the sea, remain here with me in Mountainside.  I am grateful to the two new dog walkers I have found for Tresor.  Even Jelly has a friend who takes her hiking on the trails in Watchung Reservation!  I do not believe they grieve the loss of their former friend, but surely they must wonder as do I:   why?…….  where?…….when?……

I have sought solace in the peace of prayer.  There is nothing else to do.  I am in God’s hands.  I have done all I could to find happiness in relationships and husbands.  Nonetheless, I always find myself in the role somewhere between a freak and a failure.  But if God made me, I am in His image and therefore must be good. It is not for me to judge only to beg for mercy from the horrible pain of loneliness these separations impart.  But, I tell myself, I have Jelly and Tresor…….  So, I try to tell myself that I am really not so alone after all.

When I walked to church this evening to attend a special program of the Rosary Altar Society, to a church that is so close that I can see it from my living room window,  I was bathed in the light of the full moon.  I felt illuminated by its effervescence.  Perhaps it was the Eye of God. Catholics are taught when they are little children that God’s eye is always watching and protecting them.   For myself, I have survived the chaos of my life.  I have endured and gone on to do the special work God has laid out for me as an adult.  In my case, among other difficult acts of love, it was to take care of his dogs; many dogs; only now, the dogs are and have been His borzois.

Later, walking home from the Church in the moonlight, I saw myself standing on the beach of Delaware Bay with my borzois.  I am taken back in time by several years.  My husband, Bob, took some wonderful photographs there a long time ago!  How I cherish them.  They are framed and proudly displayed in my home as well as on Facebook.  Mikhailya – Casanova – Paris – Ebony!  How empty my life would have been without them!  They were among  – if not – my best friends! Today I have Jelly and Tresor, and I have their own stunning portraits, too.  Gifts from God, I cherish them all.  I know I am blessed.  I can only pay God back through my adoration and prayers, and trying to be worthy of all that is and has been good in my life.

Mikhailya with me at Delalware Bay
Mikhailya with me at Delalware Bay

So together let us welcome this balmy October weather.  As the temperatures rise, let the skies be blue and full of puffy white clouds, the kind where Mary can place her footsteps wandering in heaven.  And as she does, may she impart her blessings and joys on those who look up to her in prayer!

Closer to full recovery at Blyss; Doing better; Loving Tresor and Jelly

I am further along on my road to recovery after a freak accident walking Tresor caused me to break my shoulder on May 16, 2016.  Most of all, I am finally relieved of the excruciating and relentless pain the injury caused me for a full four weeks.  After that point, I obtained a significant amount of relief and ability regaining motion of my right arm that had been in a nearly frozen position across my chest held up in a most  unnatural way by a sling that day by day was becoming an increasing instrument of torture itself.  Two weeks later, on July 1st, I was told I would be able to drive.  Now my life has returned to normal except for the long hours I must endure of a new torture, physical therapy.  But I will not complain about that.

Moving on, while holed up alone, isolated, in pain, and very depressed, my mind played its usual repertoire of tricks.  First, it told me food did not taste good if I was in pain so I dropped ten pounds that unsettled all of my friends, family and doctors.  I do that, I just do.  I still do not want to eat.  What’s there to eat about? What’s there to eat for?  And extreme physical pain only transferred itself to the already existing emotional pain of being alone (a widow) reminding me of it in a new way.  Still, I hung in there eating as best I could, it only was not enough.

Now that I am feeling better, I am able to appreciate how lucky I am, lucky for my lovely home, my remaining close family members, my close boyfriend, and most of all my two borzoi, Jelly and Tresor.   Those are the things I have to focus on, as the memory of the pain dims into the distant pass more and more every day.  Although it was frightening and horrible, and it isolate me, now that it is over I have regained my equanimity toward life and have achieved a better balance.   Perhaps sometimes it takes a calamity to underscore your gifts for you, perhaps they disappear under the cover of mistakes and tragedies and you think everybody else has it better than you do, but to believe that is wrong.   I am able to raise the blinds in my bedroom every day now free of pain and give thanks for that and so much more.

Regarding the true focus of this blog, which is not me, Jelly and Tresor have been through a lot due to my accident as well.  However, they have ended up in a better place.  Jelly charmed herself into the heart of another dog acquaintance I have had for many years, who has asked to take Jelly with her and her lovely dog when she takes him out hiking in the Watchung Reservation which is almost daily.  Moreover, I found a wonderful man to walk Tresor for me, and that relationship  is working out well for him, and so for me, too.  Tresor is a dog who loves to be walked, and he looks so proud and full of himself as he saunters down the driveway with his dog-walker.  He is such a show-off!  The world is all about him, so he thinks.  He loves his life, and all the people in it.  It is worth everything in the world to me to see him happy this way.  When he comes back, he lavishes me with his affection, never missing an opportunity to rub his head on me, or reach out to me with his paw.  He wants to be close to me wherever I am in the house.  My heart is full of a special love for Tresor.  Every day lived with Tresor is a gift, and there is no pain in the world that could have destroyed that.  We co-exist in a bubble of dog love bliss, I know.  I know it will not endure forever, but while he is here, I will not allow anything to come between us again.  We share a sacred bond.  I never knew a dog could make me so happy as Tresor does.  And Jelly is right there behind him.

 

Recovery Alone at Blyss but with Much Help

It is very difficult to be in so much pain, especially so much so that I cannot drive and am therefore rather isolated.  However, this could be so much worse, because many people – friends – people whom I never would have thought cared – have called, come over to see me, and offered to help.  I have been very moved and touched by this, since I am more prone to the belief that I have no friends, or to focus on the bad outcomes I have had with past friends more than is necessary.  It is especially those in the Plainfield Kennel Club and individuals in the Borzoi Club of Greater New York who actually scheduled a meeting in my house, and the Borzoi Club of Central New Jersey who have shown great kindness.

Also, a long time friend, N33, whom I know from the Mountainside dog parks, has been coming over with her dog to pick up Jelly so she can enjoy her walks with them in Watchung Reservation.  Words can never express my gratitude to this woman for the kindness she has shown to Jelly.

Jelly’s breeder, N24, has great concern for the youngest borzoi in her kennel.  I want very much to go and visit, but neither my sister nor my former boyfriend will take the time to bring me there.  Also, breeders are very closed about problems with their dogs, I have observed, and perhaps she would not want me to make such a visit, or say anything about this to her.  Where I think words of support and sympathy are called for, perhaps she would find them inappropriate.  There is a saying that sums this up.  It is:  What happens in my kennel stays in my kennel.  I am not a very good follower of that adage.  I tend to want to talk about everything to everybody.  I know S24 broke my heart when she did not take me to the Borzoi National Specialty Show in Kansas City, KA in April, I have warmed toward her again and wish to comfort her if I can if her borzoi remains ill.  But I am trapped here and my voice-mail messages have gone unanswered, so in a way I am forced into silence.

I should err on the side of silence more often.  It will not be easy. Well, at least I did not write how broken up I was over the Memorial Day Weekend to spend most of it alone and in great pain.  This was what it was.  Like so many problems I have had in my life, the only solution is the inexorable passage of time and the next visit of my former boyfriend, who suddenly looks like a saint sent to me on a special mission from heaven.