Some days you are keenly made aware of what you have and what you have not. For me, each day is a sorry reminder of my most profound loss, a Blyss borzoi. It can be either any of the ones I have had, or a borzoi yet to come. I am consumed with grief and loneliness for those I have lost to death. That emotion was previously saved for Opal but today it is for all of them, collectively.
I look at their portraits on the wall for comfort, and their collars, leashes and show leads on the coat rack for the recollection of happy times spent together on walks or entries in conformation shows. There are other objects, too, that I can never put away or discard. It would be like a form of suicide, as if to deny I had ever lived or felt joy.
The Blyss borzoi were the best of me, and I gave them my best. I could not be more lonely or grief stricken, knowing no person could touch me this way. They only brought me joy and love unconditionally, and they knew they had my heart as none other had it. Today I walk alone, as I will forever, for they are gone.