My world as I knew it for some time now was shattered by some traumatic news from a friend, no, a man I believed in. The end result was him asking me not to contact him anymore. No explanation was given, just that.
I had so much I wanted to say, yet that option was denied. I was in enormous emotional pain. I guess I brought it upon myself, I just don’t know how. I have no one else to blame. Unable to write to him, yet having so much to say, I remembered he is a Facebook “Friend”, still! I posted messages to him and about him and for him on my public page, knowing he would read them. They are my poems, so I am saving them here.
Although many other Facebook Friends reacted with concern, the gentleman remained silent. Perhaps he was never a friend. I can’t seem to keep my love life from crashing and burning around me. My only loyal loves have been with my dogs since 2002, especially my borzoi, and also my Black Lab, and now my Silken, Kenzie. And that makes me glad, they are so much more worthy of my love than they ever were.
In the ten years I have been a widow, I have been surprising how many men have been turned off by me having dogs. True, I had multiple, very large dogs, and men can’t handle that kind of competition. And, I will always put my dogs before any man, and my passion for them, the borzoi breed in particular, dog shows, breeding, the whole thing, before any man. My life revolves around my passion for dogs, my borzoi, and now my Silken Windhound, Kensie. It is how I deal with my pain. It is a lot for a man to compete with. Where I succeed with dogs, I fail with men. My poems, unedited words from my soul, follow.
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So easy to love
So hard to lose
Come back.
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Today is a wintry cold day in March
Soon it will be spring again to bring me joy
And maybe hearts will heal.
But for now, only lonely,
A heart dies slowly in place
One day at a time.
