Another Long Hiatus….. Sad News….. Jelly…. Magnus….Mikhailya…..

Jelly portrait by Maxine Bochnia

Lorene, Karen Ackerman, and Mikhailya’s grand-daughter, Hawk Eye

Mikhahilya with her pups!
Specialty Sweeps, Sept. 2009.Karen Staudt-Cartabona & Lorene Connolly
Magnus shown with Karen Staudt-Cartabona and Lorene Connolly

 

There are no words to describe the loss and grief I feel knowing all of the Blyss borzoi are gone.  And even Jelly, so wisely chosen from Bibikov Kennels in Cross River, NY, and destined by Frances Wright to come to Blyss ever since she was born, has joined them in farewell.  I wander around  as if I  were a blind person, bumping into life’s obstacles, not knowing how to get out of the way of pain.  And at the end of the day, every day, I ask myself, “Why am I  here?”  And I have no answer.

I can only contemplate that as alone as I am in my humanity, even a higher being does not want me.

I had the joy in May of attending the Spring borzoi specialty shows in NJ and PA, and was honored to have Wendy Finlayson of Mayvale Borzoi, in New Zealand, be my houseguest for one week.  After the shows, we were invited for a day to Majenkir, a true high point.  The last time I was there, it was all of nine years ago, to deliver the puppies of the one Blyss Kennels litter to Majenkir, the inimical “Magnus”, and his littermate who was lost, “Zephyrus”.  I say “Zyphyrus” was lost because he was sold to a family on the west coast and was not heard from again after the male owner of the couple died suddenly and he and the wife went to live with one of the adult children.  Not long after, “Magnus” was sold to Belisarius Borzoi, in Japan, to the Ozekis.  So, after nine years, I had the joy of being invited back with Wendy and other guests, Frances Wright of Bibikov, Don Foran from the UK, Karen & Howard Spey of Bookstor, and a few others.  It was a lovely May day, and many wonderful photos were taken.  We were then treated to a wonderful dinner at a nearby restaurant, The Lake Edge, on the shore of Swartswood Lake,  that had the misfortune of burning down a few months later.  Karen had many new young dogs to show us that day.  The place looked as lush and gorgeous as ever, as if with the passage of time, it only got better.  The borzoi never looked lovlier, as if she had honed her craft to such a degree that she no longer bred mere mortal canines, but canine deities.  More would be seen of them at the fall specialties four months later.  I cannot hold back the piece of intelligence that those particular specimens, a sire and his daughter, are direct descendants of my Magnus, the very borzoi pup I delivered to her on that day in March 2009, a grandson named “Vigow”, and a grand-daughter named “Symbolic”.  At the Borzoi Club of Central NJ Specialty Show on September 7, 2019, “Vigow” won Best of Breed, and his daughter, the puppy-bitch shy of 18 months, “Sympolic”, won Best Opposite Sex.  I was so totally over the moon happy!

While I was at the Borzoi Club of America Specialty Show in May, in Gettysburg, PA, from May 11 – 18, I renewed my acquaintance with the regional governor in the west, Karen Ackerman, who happens to own a Mikhailya grand-daughter, and a Magnus daughter, “Hawk-Eye”, who courses and does Open Field Coursing.  I met her with her husband and Hawk Eye several years ago at the National in Huron, Ohio so I was thrilled to see her again in Bethlehem, PA.  I just learned that she has a littermate of Symbolic, Lyra, who courses with Hawk Eye, and I was absolutely thrilled to learn of that, because I know that she has a second progeny of Mikhailya and Magnus, and that puppy bitch, too, has a great life.

I know that Magnus, and therefore my Mikhailya, have progeny all over the world.  This  makes me so proud, but I wanted to know who they were, how many there were, and where they lived.  In order to obtain this data, I needed a report known as a “reverse pedigree”.  Therefore, I requested one from an organization that compiles this information,  Borzoi Breed Archive, in Vienna,  AU.  At first they said they did not have this capability and therefore could not provide it to me.  Then, I received traumatic, tragic news about Magnus from a most unlikely source.

One day in June, I received a letter from Keizo Kaida, the former employee of Belisarius Kennels and handler of Magnus in Japan.  He shared some very unhappy news regarding Magnus, and included photographs.  Interestingly, Wendy Finlayson was in all of the photographs.  He maintained that in August 2017, Magnus died suddenly, a day after Wendy left Belisarius Kennels after a visit of several days.  That I had known, and always thought was “strange”, like, why did my borzoi die because Wendy left?  But, Kaiza maintained that Magnus was not well kept in his retirement, he was kept in a kennel that was too hot and damp for him, and he suffered for it.  My feelings regarding his death in connection to Wendy is that he heard English spoken.  She doted on him, and showered him with attention and affection.  She gave him a bath and blow dried him.  This was shown in many photos I saw.  Surely he looked happy.  Then, she left, leaving him behind. My beloved Magnus believed he was going home, and when he realized he was left behind, he died the very next day.  Wendy did take two of her own dogs out of the kennel that day when she left, but she left Magnus behind.  If only she had taken my Magnus, too.

I had been told when he died that he was a house dog since his retirement, an unfortunate mistruth.  How sad…..   How sad he was not sent home when Belisarius was finished with him so he could die in New Jersey, where he would be loved.  He deserved to be sent home.  He made great amounts of money for both Majenkir and Belisarius kennels, and earned them a great many titles.

When I learned about this, I contacted the Manager of Borzoi Breed Archives, Karin Schellner, and told her about the Magnus’s story.  I told her how much it would mean to me to get his reverse pedigree.  I told her about how he died a slow, sad death, alone,  unwell, and in exile in Japan.   Karin ran the report for me, with the data she had at the time, going out four generations, all the data she had at that time, gratis.    I was overjoyed to receive it, and sent her organization a donation of $100.00.  She said the Borzoi Breed Archive was going to make this report available to everyone very soon.  The report showed Magnus had 123 progeny all over the world, going out four generations.  I am so proud of this great borzoi.  Such bitter loss as this can never be measured for the depth and breadth of the pain of it.  Let it be a cautionary tale.  Guard them well.  They give us so much when they trot around the ring and look so pretty doing it.  It is not what they would ever do naturally.  They do it for us, because we ask it of them, and because they love us.  We owe them at the very least the very best of our care when we are through with them.

If anyone wants a copy of Magnus’s Reverse Pedigree, please contact me, Lorene Connolly, at Lorenecon@gmail.com, and I will be happy to share it with you, along with some of his beautiful photographs.  He was one of the most handsome borzoi ever to be bred.   But his dam was one of the most beautiful borzoi that ever lived…

See: Blysskennels.us

for photos and information about CH Majenkir My Ksar Mikhailovna “Mikhailya”, the dam of “Magnus”.

Every day to live with Mikhailya was a gift.  Mikhailya was a once in a lifetime dog.  My husband, whom she adored the most, died prematurely and was taken suddenly from us.  I tried to make a good life for her, but in my heart, although I did my best, I know I failed her.  I have to live with that knowledge every day.  It is the biggest regret of my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life today at Blyss Kennels. After a hiatus.

For the last two years, I needed to work because, sadly, I needed the money.   However, working did not help my finances much, especially the last year when I worked in a very fancy department store with beautiful clothes and jewelry.  I am a girl with a spending disorder, and it kicked in while I was there.  I had to quit that job and I decided to address my cash shortages by closely examining my spending patterns and I found many “mistakes”.  Still, I have financial obligations that are considerable and challenging.  Not having a borzoi at this time will help keep me on the path to becoming more financially sound.  But I have made the decision to attend the Borzoi National Specially this year because I can drive to get to it, and that is a good thing.

I thought about moving to southern Delaware but after a long consideration, realized I could not do it.  I could not leave my home, and did not want to be far from NY City where my son and his family live.  I have a baby grand-daughter now whom I adore.  I am trying to be happy in the here and now, content that what I have is good, just as it is, that I have accomplished a lot, and have every right to be happy.  But the real reason is I could not leave my home in Mountainside, or the beautiful Watchung Reservation that borders it where our lives, Bob’s and mine, with our borzoi was lived.

Before deciding not to move, I set about cleaning out boxes and files in the garage and attic.  There, I found many items of interest, including my borzoi books, magazines, BCOA Yearbooks with photographs of Blyss Kennels borzoi, and many figurines.  I have decorated my house with the figurines and pictures, many of which are beautifully framed.  Going through my files, I found all of the correspondence with Karen Staudt-Cartabona of Majenkir Borzoi, the owner of the stud dog for Mikhailya’s litter, that I had done over the years, especially those written during the summer of 2008, prior to breeding Mikhailya.  They were long emails, pouring my heart out to her, about how I felt about Mikhailya, and why I wanted her to be bred.  Then, I found the email telling her about the birth of the puppies, and how splendid a puppy Magnus was, about his “greatness” even as a newborn!  After that,  I found a file about “Raynbo”, the kennel of Roni and Jennifer Zucker, from whom we got Paris and then Opal.  There were photos of visits to their home: club events, a Match show,  picnics, private invitations.  I was overwhelmed.  Tears flowed……  So much is gone now or different: Roni is dying in a nursing home; Jennifer has to work outside of her home and kennel; Bob is dead; I am old and frail; all of the borzoi of those days are all dead.  Nothing is as it was.  Although reviewing these materials left me feeling  overwhelmed, I was so grateful to have saved and found it all again.

 

 

 

 

 

The Spring Specialty Shows; Updates with the Breeders & the BCOA Specialty Show

I am very excited about leaving for the Borzoi National Specilty Show tomorrow. However the preceding two weeks have been truly special, as well. On May 2nd., Wendy Finlayson, of Mayvale Borzoi, New Zealand, was looking for a host home near the East Coast Spring Borzoi Specialty Weekend in early May, and I w.as recommended to her by Joy Windle. I graciously accepted the opportunity to host her. Therefore, on Thursday, May 2nd I picked her up at Newark Airport and we were on our way. On Friday, May 3rd, there were back-to-back specialties with the Borzoi Club of Greater NY and the Borzoi Club of Delaware Valley. Daniel Foran, who was being hosted by Frances Wright, was judging the Borzoi Club of Greater NY, and it was very exciting to watch his class.

On Wednesday, we were invited to the home and kennel of Karen Staudt-Cartabona.  Fran along with Daniel were there, too, along with Karen and Howard Spey. It could not have been a lovelier day. There we saw many puppies and adult borzoi of various ages. Among them was a bitch named “Mericlone. This is a “Mikhailya” Grand-Daughter and a “Magnus”/”Max” daughter, making her a half-sister of Belisarius “Lucy”. As I stood besides her, caressing her, she stood quietly besides me. As shd did, she tapped me several times with her paw, as if she understood my significance to her life, and was trying to tell me something. She was exquisite. Later, we got to see more puppies and dogs, and it was a wonderful day. Wendy critiqued Mericlone’s litters; Mericlone recently had three, along with some of the other dogs. Wendy was very impressed with the high quality of the dogs Karen had at this time.

The last time I had been to Karen’s home was when I gave Karen the puppies that were hers from the Blyss litter, “Magnus” and a third pup, 9 years ago.   It was a bright, sunny day in March, 2009.  It was hard for me to give up my puppies. I knew it would be my only one, and I would have given the world to keep them, but this would not be possible.   I knew “Magnus” would go on to greatness with Karen. Regarding the third puppy, his owner sadly died shortly after getting him and it was hoped that one of his adult children would take him in. Therefore, I lost touch with him. I hope and pray that he did well, too. It’s funny how life is. Three men associated with this litter died at that time the litter was born. Mr. Ozeki, the father  of Mai Ozeki Hirai, the owner of the third puppy, and my husband. But today, it feels like a lifetime ago. I had to sell our beautiful, spacious home and kennels at the top of the first ridge of the Watchung Mountain range in Mountainside, NJ, and downsize considerably on a small property at its base. Life is difficult, unpredictable and capricious. One must always be ready for what lies ahead, for the most unexpected.  At least I was able to keep all my borzoi, then when they died, I was able to get Jelly from Fran, who wanted me to have her in 2010 when she was a puppy, shortly before my husband became ill.

 

Passing Days at Blyss without Jelly

I will say life is unbearable here without Jelly.  I am acutely aware that this is all so deja vue.  I am taken back almost thirteen years to the death of Opal.  This is definitely familiar territory, and not terrain one would want to visit again any time soon.

But if I am devastated, Jelly’s darling dog walker is destroyed.  She stopped by today weeping, asking why I put her down when I did, and why I did not wait, saying she would have taken over the payment of the continued veterinary bills.  This would not have been feasible, given this woman’s financial situation.  Still, I know she would have done it……  there is no limit to the kindness of some people, and she is that kind of person.  And Jelly was the kind of dog that would bring it out in someone.  A man who accompanied her on her walks with Jelly with his dog was equally devastated and burst into uncontrollable sobs when he heard the news.  I decided to go to The Scouting Field in the Watchung Reservations to be with them today, and joined them on a hike to the Deserted Village.  I had not done this in several years, probably not since I broke my shoulder walking Tresor three years ago.   Jelly loved this daily outing with them, and they told me of her many exploits out on the trail and all the fun she had.  I felt she was there with us, and not only Jelly but all the Blyss borzoi, especially Opal, whose image kept flashing before my eyes during this long and rather arduous venture for me.  For the longer I had Jelly, the more she melded into  Opal, and the more I felt that Opal  had returned, and that she had never left me.   I had had her with me all these years.  Recently, with this new found knowledge,  I  felt blissfully happy, happier than I had been in years.  Then, she was gone.  So now, I am grieving again for Opal, too.  I feel that every time I reached out and touched Jelly, I was touching something God-like, something beyond reality, and it transformed me into something beyond what I was, something greater, better, beyond anything I could ever be myself.  Because of them, Jelly and Opal, especially, but all the Blyss borzoi, I was a better person.  Their innate goodness made me good.  I bought this beautiful cottage eight years ago for my four borzoi.  Now they are all gone.   Now, I  am alone, and I will be alone forever.  It is as if they died, and I died with them.  My beautiful house has become a hollow tomb.  And I am still here I it, and I don’t know why.

 

Jelly of Blyss Kennels, from Bibikov: An Obituary. 2010 – 2019

Jelly portrait by Maxine Bochnia

It is with the heaviest of hearts that I share the sad news of Jelly’s passing today. She fought a brave fight for one year with chylothorax, submitting to procedures multiple times. Always brave and stoic, she was a great actress for putting on a healthy face, as if to say, “See, Mommy, I’m just fine!”. But I saw her as she struggled to cross a small field to reach me, and turned away so not to embarass her for taking so long. I also saw her trying to stalk and hunt little animals but not be able to make the charge and pounce, and could only imagine what she must have thought….. I had always turned away by then so she would not know I knew she failed. We had perfect communication, without words, and I knew she was far worse than she seemed. The vet let me be with her when she passed. He had a beautiful red velvet blanket to give her to lie on. He took one last picture of us together on it. When she passed, she looked as if she were just resting there, looking very beautiful, with no sign of illness anywhere. She died with her splendid beauty intact. Jelly’s official portrait taken by Maxine Bochnia is shown below. I think it captures her unique beauty and grace to perfection. Somehow, feeling friendless and robbed, I must find a way to go on without her. Heaven has a brighter star for having Jelly in it. Dear God, please let me find it to guide me home.

 

The blur of passing days at Blyss

As one may imagine, the silence of my words although gravely remiss has been due to serious factors.  The primary reason is the acceptance of a full time rewarding position of employment in September.  I would never have believed that returning to the workforce would make such an enormous difference in my sense of well being, but it has.  I am a  Sales Associate at a very respected and prestigious department store with its flagship store on the  Upper East Side of NY City.  Every day I work there is a thrill.  Wherever my eye rest I see beautiful clothes the likes of which I never see anywhere else.  I have even had the pleasure and ability to significantly upgrade my own wardrobe thanks to the generous employee appreciation incentive discounts they offer.  I work with lovely people, both co-workers and customers.  I won’t say it is always easy and it is not exhausting at times for me, but overall I love it and would not return to being at home with tons of time on my hands mostly being spent alone as a widow.  I cannot  make a romantic connection of any kind with anyone.  I must admit I am grateful for the ongoing attention and  interest LT takes in my life and well being, even if he has moved on and is happy.  He says he is amazed that I am working so hard and is very happy to see me restored to  my former state of health and strength, a way that I was before he knew me, a way I had only described.  He had his doubts, but now, seeing it with his own eyes, he says he is very happy for my achievement over being weak, depressed and ill.  It is a change so significant it shocks even myself.

On another amazing note, it is not only myself who has made an amazing recovery to a state of former health and strength, but so, too, has Jelly.  This is the most amazing of phenomenon.   In May, she was diagnosed with chylothorax, a fatal canine disease.  I waited for her to pass all summer, but it was not to be.  She simply remained stable and then gradually grew

stronger.  My beloved Girl did not die after all and is still here with me.  It only proves what I believe in life, that we are all in God’s hands after all.  It does not really matter what a veterinarian says at the end of the day.  Destiny will run its course, and the life of a creature with it.  So, here, in the dark, cold month of December, I will not complain because it is very cold outside and I am exhausted for working all day, because I came home to find Jelly waiting for me, happy to see me, and to eat our dinner together, and wanting for nothing else.  Getting Jelly in 2015 caused me a great deal of expense and complications to my life but I would not ch ange a thing about them, becauase having her here has been worth everything because she makes me so happy.

The only dark spot on my horizon is the near one year anniversary of  Tresor’s death.  Jelly even played a positive role in his life, being here when he was returned to me, making his last years happier ones than they would have been had she not been here.  Borzoi need other borzoi.  Jelly is totally independent but Tresor was not.  Her presence bought him great comfort.  Only good has come from bringing Jelly into my life.  She is a good and sweet little borzoi in every way.  She brings infinite blessings to me every day she lives.

I know, many years ago, going on thirteen,  I lost a  much loved puppy bitch named Opal which brought me much grief.  I never thought I would feel another dog could be as close to me as she was or could ever hold her special qualities.  Today, many years later, and having lived with Jelly for some time, I have to say that Jelly has in many ways given those special and dear qualities that I lost when Opal died back to me.  It is really difficult to articulate this, because Opal truly was so special and dear, but Jelly  does so much to make me happy and is so good.  I owe her the credit of the complement that she is so like Opal, more than I could ever have imagined any other borzoi or dog could be.

                                                                                           Opal

Blyss Magnus – Max

Lately, the name of Magnus, the dog I bred but who was sold by Karen Staudt-Cartabona   to Belisarius Kennels in Japan and became known in Asia as Max, has been coming up almost constantly.  It began almost immediately, when she used him at stud on a bitch, Majenkir  Spiral in a Circle.  Through that breeding, many get were born.  Kind owners who were local called me to let me know, many inviting me to their houses for lunch to meet my grand-dogs!  Later, I began seeing their names in show Catalogues, including at every National I attended for many years.  Then, local area friends informed me that their puppies were direct descendants of Magnus.  It was always amazing to me.

Later, when he was in Japan, we learned about Lucy, the most famous of all his get, about which so much has been written here and so much is shown on the Blyss Kennels website.  For, she was sent to the USA to have a most brilliant show career of two years duration, breaking every borzoi breed record in history, including Reserve Best of Breed at Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in 2016.  How blessed we were.

This week, I innocently posted a photo of myself with Jelly doing something together, and a man from Thailand wrote to me letting me know he, too, has a descendent of the great Max!  He bought him from a breeder in Russia.  It appears there are descendants of Magnus/Max, and therefore, our beloved Mikhailya, his dam, all over the world now.

I came across this old email in my Sent messages and thought I would share it on Blyss Blog.  It captures what is truly in my heart, unedited, raw and true, in a letter to Karen.  I wisely blind copied it to myself, thereby saving it, only to be found over two years later by accident.   It brought tears to my eyes as I read it.

*******************************************************************

RE:  Sighthound Review, Summer Issue, 2017

From:  Lorene Connolly <lorenecon@gmail.com>

Date:  Aug 14, 2017, 6:01 PM

To Karen, bcc: me

Dear Karen,

I received my summer issue of Sighthound Review today and took a minute to sit down and skim through it quickly while my borzois ate their dinner. I am so thrilled to see your nearly two page ad, especially the page outlining the remarkable Majenkir wins in Spring of 2017. I believe you wrote this up in Facebook, too, but I am especially happy you put it in Sighthound Review. It makes a great ad. Thank you for the mention of Regal and Magnus, and Magnus as the sire of Lucy, and her mention.

I will never forget the moment I first saw Magnus….. he had just been delivered by Caesarian and cleaned up, and the vet tech came out to show him to me. Upon seeing him, I knew then he was destined for greatness. I never wavered in that belief. I do remember writing to you in an email later that day and saying that. You must have thought, what does she know! Truly, I knew it. He was special at birth and has remained so throughout his life. I am so glad he was to be your dog, since you would know what to do with a great borzoi like that, and we never would have had the resources to give him what he deserved. He should not have languished his life in the suburbs as a pet. That’s fine for Tresor, who only needs love and care to be happy, but it would not have been right for him. I am so glad he turned out to be one of your great borzoi.

I feel blessed and honored to know you, and that together I helped you achieve a remarkable milestone in the borzoi annals of success.

Love,

Lorene

 

 

 

“I will buy you a new life.” Everclear. True in rock song lyrics, not at Blyss.

I returned to the workplace full time on Tuesday, September 4, 2018, after working part time for one year, moving to a different retail store.   I was surprised to  have the position offered to me.  Sadly, I needed the money as well as more things to fill my time.   I was tired of having open ended unstructured days trying to navigate life as a widow very much held down by the responsibilities of keeping borzois and the upkeep of a home in an area of the country with a high cost of living.

For good news, it appears Jelly’s condition of chylothorax has disappeared.  I thought  it was always fatal.  There was no mistake in the diagnosis.  Her chest was tapped twice, with a considerable amount of fluid extracted.  Although it is perplexing , it is joyful to know she is well.

I have to stay focused on the blessings life has tossed my way, the ability to pay my bills, and the health of Jelly.  Her breeder and I are even discussing the possibility of showing her as a Veteran at the upcoming Borzoi Club of America National Specialty Show in May.  She finished her championship as a puppy, and this would crown her life.

Life goes along in these twisted, bizarre ways.  The return of Jelly’s health may portend to return her to the show ring where she began.  This would be her personal victory over death.  Many people would be happy for her, and I think for her breeder and me, too.  It would be a very happy ending to the story of Blyss Kennels, a story that began with the dramatic death of a precious puppy bitch, followed by that of my husband, leaving me alone and confused not knowing where to turn.  I would hope I brought it to the right place; a place with happy beautiful dogs and my life where it belongs.

The Fall Show Season Commences without Blyss

Somehow summer has passed.  I did not attend any dog shows.   I hoped to see N24, Jelly’s breeder, today at the Somerset Hills KC show but she was unable to make it.  This was the day of the Borzoi Club of Central NJ Specialty Show.  But somebody else did.  Sometimes, what goes around comes around.  Our first  contact in the borzoi world in September 2003, Casanova’s breeder, N23, had re-entered the borzoi show ring about two years ago with a beautiful boroi bitch and has been showing her with some success.  Now, her littermate, a dog, is being shown.  This weekend, he has been out with a notable handler.  She has been taking the breed all weekend.  But N23 has been coming in BOS with his bitch.  This means it has been two years now since N5, our mentor and President of the Borzoi Club of Central New Jersey, has not won our Club’s Specialty Show, since last year, N24’s beautiful “Hunter” won the Breed.

There were some friends notably absent, some due to illness, and some due to travel.  We don’t always get to do everything we want, especially if there are conflicts on the calendar.  I have become a real veteran of calendar conflicts this year.  One year ago, I took a part time job in a department store in Westfield, NJ.  After a year, I updated my resume and posted it on Indeed.com and Linked-in.com.  It was well received, and I was offered a far better job in a much better department store in Bridgewater, NJ in a beautiful, new mall.  I believe I will be much happier in this setting.  Moreover, it is a full time work opportunity for me, the first I have been able to find in ten years.  This has had an enormously positive effect on my moods.  I am elated and thrilled.  I feel far more experienced than I did a year ago when I began in the other store.  I was gripped by terror and anxiety for quite some time but forced myself to face it in spite of my agony.  Now, I feel some stress but I believe it will be over in a few days and I will be very comfortable there.  I am optimistic this will have a very positive effect on my finances which have been under great strain over the past two or three years, since getting Jelly and Tresor’s unexpected return.  I had “LT” install a dog door, and that involved some renovation on the deck, and when Tresor came, it required some areas of my fence to be changed and made higher.

Thinking of Tresor, it is nine months already that he is gone.  I still sense his spirit here with me in the house and I do not feel lonely for him.  I will always be so grateful  to have had him returned to me by his foster family.

Regarding Jelly, I have the most strange and surprising mews.  She was diagnosed with chylothorax in May, even though her presentation was mild, not acute.  However, her condition has not worsened, and if anything, even with the brutal heat we have had this summer, she has rallied and seemingly “recovered” for lack of a better word, which theoretically is impossible.  Life can be very strange.  A seemingly strong, healthy dog dies suddenly in my arms.  Another dog receives a devastating diagnosis and is expected to die imminently and several months later shows no sign of the disease.  I can only pray and embrace them both to my heart for they are so precious and dear.  I feel that although Jelly will be my last borzoi in my home, someday I will co-own Hunter with N24.  I adore him and he loves me; I can feel his love when we are together.  He is a  beautiful borzoi in every way and he makes me very happy.

The Specialty show is over now for another year.  I am getting ready for bed.  I am alone of course, alone now, and expect to be forever.   I believe I have loved for the last time.  “LT” has a new lady in his life.  They went on a long European vacation together and he said they had a very nice time.  However, he lives by his own rules and he just had to come by and tell me all about it.  Being in a relationship with him for any woman would not be easy.  That part is behind me.  Now, I can just think of the love I had for him as a memory and just be happy when he calls and asks if he can come over and see Jelly and me.  I still love to post photographs of him with Tresor from time to time on FB.  That way, people will always know I appreciate all he did for me a long time ago.

 

                                                  N21’s bitch  Korsakov Borzoi

                                                         The male.   Korsokov 

Blyss Changes and movings away from….

Jelly and I are spending as much time as possible together these days.  I know she is critically ill and I want to spend as much time with her as possible.  She always welcomes my company.  When I am not with her, I am at work at a job I found in Westfield.  My job  makes me happy in a strange way.  But it wasn’t supposed to be this way.  How different it will be for me to come home and find Jelly gone.  Will I really not get another borzoi?  Will I be able to not live without one?  Will I try a Silkin Windhund, a very similar dog instead?  Will I ever connect to  a partner again?  These are very scary questions for me to contemplate.  Especially if I have to endure them without a borzoi.  Will it be worth it to go on by myself?   If my heart is ripped out of my breast?