Having lost Tresor so recently, exactly four weeks ago from today, I am trying to orient myself to the human race again, or at least give myself that appearance. I had not even tried before this. I signed up for my eight week yoga class the Mountainside town offers for its residents. It’s a wonderful class, and I need the exercise the movements provide to me. I need all the strengthening of my core I can get. I am a frail and fragile woman but need to regain bone and strength. I am back at Church and participating in Church life.
I don’t know how I am doing so well. I will give some credit to my doctors, the ones I met and had to establish long term relationships with after Opal died in 2006 and I was still suffering deep grief in 2008 and was unable to go on. Drugs with strange names like Pamalor and Seraquel come to mind. There are more, several more. They help me cope with pain; they keep pain at bay; all kinds of pain. That’s been the difference between the two events. I have help this time. I had none in 2007.
Still, I must have learned something about resilience and its value, how important it is to be able to stand on your own two feet, the desirability of being autonomous, no matter what you lose: mothers, husbands, beloved borzoi and other equally loved dogs I am sure such as Yorkies, Malteses, a Cairne and even a Fox Terrier! No, I liked my dog breeds challenging, for sure. I like a dog that shows it thinks! There is so much more of it to love.
But it was the sur-reality of borzoi love that did me in; a dog breed that can mimic human emotions of love yet ready to hunt savagely in a heart-beat! A dog with a beauty so breathtaking you do not believe your own eyes! You become ruined for another breed. If you cannot have another borzoi, why have a dog at all?