I have had many dimensions of interruption in my life over the last five months since my last borzoi, Paris, died. It first concerned my mother in the final months of her life. This was followed by my own reaction in the form of a small breakdown that required time spent in an IOP (Intensive Out Patient) hospital based program for two months from which I was just released last week. I should be very pleased with how well I came out of this emotional swan dive and lived to tell the tale. If I can come through all of this, I am optimistic for all of my readers to weather whatever form the storms and tempests of life hurls at them. Be brave and brace yourself for anything for it will happen.
I am still waiting for my new borzoi, Jelly, to come to Blyss. All of my friends in the breed I talk to about getting her have nice things to say about her. Two friends, breeders, know her well enough to have handled her for her breeder in recent shows. I even know someone who had a stud dog that bred her but it did not take. She was bred twice but neither time produced a litter. She is ready to be a pet and the consensus is that she is perfect for me. And so I wait.
It is perhaps more difficult to believe that I have either rightly or wrongly decided to forgive my boyfriend LT and he and I are a couple again although with many changes to our original relationship. He lives elsewhere so I can maintain my equilibrium living on my own, something which I still need to master. It is my destiny which I must accept, that’s all, without being self-destructive. I can do it, I only think I cannot. Jelly will be my pal when LT is gone. However, now I know he will return because he could not stay apart from me any more than I could live alone. So much for him being a good “loner”. I don’t think so.
People, both friends and family alike, have criticized me of late, and I reconsidering those relationships seriously. Going forward, I intend to push back and reproach anyone who dares to again. I am the decider of my life, and that is the ultimate fact. Recently, it seems even more “friends” are going to be eliminated for providing me with their unasked-for opinions about my relationship with my mother, my boyfriend, or whether or not I should get another dog. People can’t help themselves by eliciting forth their uncensored thoughts essentially slashing me to shreds. My new response will be to say good-bye and walk away. Here is a quotation I came across recently by the author, Paul Auster. “After all, if you cannot share your secrets with your friends, what kind of friend are you.”