I am further along on my road to recovery after a freak accident walking Tresor caused me to break my shoulder on May 16, 2016. Most of all, I am finally relieved of the excruciating and relentless pain the injury caused me for a full four weeks. After that point, I obtained a significant amount of relief and ability regaining motion of my right arm that had been in a nearly frozen position across my chest held up in a most unnatural way by a sling that day by day was becoming an increasing instrument of torture itself. Two weeks later, on July 1st, I was told I would be able to drive. Now my life has returned to normal except for the long hours I must endure of a new torture, physical therapy. But I will not complain about that.
Moving on, while holed up alone, isolated, in pain, and very depressed, my mind played its usual repertoire of tricks. First, it told me food did not taste good if I was in pain so I dropped ten pounds that unsettled all of my friends, family and doctors. I do that, I just do. I still do not want to eat. What’s there to eat about? What’s there to eat for? And extreme physical pain only transferred itself to the already existing emotional pain of being alone (a widow) reminding me of it in a new way. Still, I hung in there eating as best I could, it only was not enough.
Now that I am feeling better, I am able to appreciate how lucky I am, lucky for my lovely home, my remaining close family members, my close boyfriend, and most of all my two borzoi, Jelly and Tresor. Those are the things I have to focus on, as the memory of the pain dims into the distant pass more and more every day. Although it was frightening and horrible, and it isolate me, now that it is over I have regained my equanimity toward life and have achieved a better balance. Perhaps sometimes it takes a calamity to underscore your gifts for you, perhaps they disappear under the cover of mistakes and tragedies and you think everybody else has it better than you do, but to believe that is wrong. I am able to raise the blinds in my bedroom every day now free of pain and give thanks for that and so much more.
Regarding the true focus of this blog, which is not me, Jelly and Tresor have been through a lot due to my accident as well. However, they have ended up in a better place. Jelly charmed herself into the heart of another dog acquaintance I have had for many years, who has asked to take Jelly with her and her lovely dog when she takes him out hiking in the Watchung Reservation which is almost daily. Moreover, I found a wonderful man to walk Tresor for me, and that relationship is working out well for him, and so for me, too. Tresor is a dog who loves to be walked, and he looks so proud and full of himself as he saunters down the driveway with his dog-walker. He is such a show-off! The world is all about him, so he thinks. He loves his life, and all the people in it. It is worth everything in the world to me to see him happy this way. When he comes back, he lavishes me with his affection, never missing an opportunity to rub his head on me, or reach out to me with his paw. He wants to be close to me wherever I am in the house. My heart is full of a special love for Tresor. Every day lived with Tresor is a gift, and there is no pain in the world that could have destroyed that. We co-exist in a bubble of dog love bliss, I know. I know it will not endure forever, but while he is here, I will not allow anything to come between us again. We share a sacred bond. I never knew a dog could make me so happy as Tresor does. And Jelly is right there behind him.