Nobody likes to be attacked, especially by people close to them, such as friends, family, lovers or co-workers. And for myself, it is especially painful to be attacked over something I wrote on Byss Blog or Blyss Blog Encore because I write so honestly and make myself vulnerable. And it is a very rare incident, happening only one other time before today. It was by a woman who had a lovely Majenkir borzoi whom I had befriended, been very kind to and always would have always been there for her.
There seems to be no end to the permutations of friends’ malevolencies. In my case, it began with my own mother, who could not help herself from ripping up her young. It was sad to experience that for so long, since she only died very recently. Yet she began a pattern that others so easily slipped into and I let them, and it never stops.
There is one thing I must always remember. People behave badly. They do the wrong things. They inflict emotional pain in the process and do not care about it one bit. It makes them feel good in so doing so they do it again.
When I enter into these relationships they are so happy and full of promise yet in a short time fighting over misunderstandings begin and emotions turn raw. I have surrounded myself with my beautiful borzoi as a buffer and a distraction from it, as I have currently done. I am grateful for Jelly for her love and beauty, and her breeder,N24, for her generosity of spirit toward me. Other breeders, too numerous to mention here, have lavished me with support and kindness. Thinking of them should be my new focus, not relationship disappointments.
I reacted strongly to my mother’s recent passing away. It made me emotionally very ill and I foresaw my own imminent passing. I received treatment for this condition at the time but wonder now, why – what was the point? I should have been left to fate and perhaps died. But people meddled and pulled me through a dark tunnel only to emerge for more of the same betrayal from weak imitations of her acts, painful nonetheless. So as the friends whittle away in number, my grasp on Jelly and my borzoi friends strengthens and I am grateful for them. I owe it to Jelly and my good friends in the borzoi breed to rally myself and be strong against the attacks of others who want to criticize and tear me down.