Every day I experience the joy and gratitude of living with my beautiful borzoi, Tresor. The knowledge of how tenuous this happiness was, and how it does not escape me that it may never have happened humbles me. And so every day when I care for him, I realize that these tasks are finite because some day he won’t be here anymore. At nearly seven, I feel robbed of the four years he lived away from me. He is so precious and dear. I am also aware that at my age, when he passes, I may be too old to have another borzoi. Time will tell what I will do, that judgment call is out.
I spent a few nights at the home of Jelly’s breeder, N24, and brought both Tresor and Jelly along. We had a wonderful time. They were both on excellent behavior there. Tresor had to be leash walked, which went well. However, the two dogs would not run and play in her fenced area, but only stood at the gate staring at the house to come in. Tresor was welcomed in the house with me, but then her two bitches, both house dogs, had to be confined to her bedroom. However, for about half the time, both Jelly and Tresor were in a massive dog pen she had in her dog grooming room which for some reason worked for them. They were always settled down and calm when they were put in there. They divided their time between the field where they would not run, the large dog pen, and being in the house and on a leash with me. Tresor was a perfect gentleman. When he met a man who was N24’s friend and another, her son, he willingly went with them on walks and allowed them to handle him. It is obvious he goes with anyone with ease, indicative of a dog who has had many dog walkers and pet sitters. Now that he is back with me, his care takers are primarily my boyfriend and myself.
Sometimes, illness strikes when you least expect it. Such as my otherwise healthy 90 year old mother suddenly developing a fatal tumor and dying shortly thereafter. Two years ago, I, too, was diagnosed with a potentially fatal illness but it was successfully treated to the best of my knowledge. Two days ago, my beloved boyfriend suffered a sudden potentially serious illness. It has stopped me cold in my tracks. It reminds me of my illness and my vulnerability in it. He makes a huge difference in my life between happiness and unhappiness, serenity and agitation, feeling safe versus feeling vulnerable. He is a wonderful man, and I want him to stay with me forever. I am at the point of prayers for him, even though he himself does not pray. May God hear my prayers, or, may the Blessed Mother hear my request to intercede for his behalf to her Son for his rapid recovery, for he deserves to live and be restored to health. It is the nature of Life to be hard and unfair, even cruel, but let him be spared the potential end result of a serious illness and be restored to health.
With all of these things in mind, especially the vulnerability of the dogs I love so much and my awareness of the ephemerality of life ~ we pass through but for a brief time ~ may life be kind to us and them and relieve our sufferings.