How poorly things are going along. First, by boyfriend vanished without a trace. As inexplicably as he appeared he disappeared leaving me desolate.
Second, I am trying hard to keep the Borzoi Club of Central New Jersey viable but I need the cooperation of some of the officers before I can go on and do anything. I hope it will be forthcoming soon, and I hope enough members have enough interest to want to renew their membership so we can enjoy another year of the club’s life.
Third. My third concern is an unforeseeable sad ending to a story where I helped a friend acquire a borzoi from a reputable breeder, however the dog is not working out in her home and my friend is heart sick. Those of us who have lived intimately with dogs in their lives and homes know all about that. There will, seemingly mysteriously, be one dog that just does not fit in your home or kennel, and it will find a way to communicate that to you every day. That has been the outcome of this dog I helped my friend acquire. I feel badly for having meddled, something I try never to do. However, I made an exception this time because I wanted to help my friend. I thought her getting this dog was a mistake, but she so strongly had her heart set on it, that I felt she should have a chance at it to see if it would work out for her. I also live my life following the sometimes rewarding but sometimes dangerous adage, to “Follow your bliss!” Therefore, I supported her plan.
There are a million ways that a dog can break your heart. It can be too good; it can be too bad (regarding behaviors), it can develop anomalies as it grows, some that are crippling, life threatening or that require surgical intervention. You never know what you will get. Chances are that you will get the last thing that you could have ever imagined. You could have a picture in your mind’s eye, and the outcome is something else altogether. My heart has been broken into a million pieces because I lost a young bitch before its second birthday in 2006. It caused me to have a total breakdown of my health and ended my career early. But later down the road, in 2015, I bought an older borzoi bitch from Fran Wright of Bibikov Borzoi, and I felt my puppy bitch had been given back to me in her. Her name was Jelly. I was able to never grieve again. When Jelly died in 2018, I looked for a Silken Windhound and was given an older bitch by Mary Childs of Wind ‘N Satin, Kensie, who is another perfect creature and I grieve no more.
What I am trying to say, I suppose, is there is a lot of grief in life, especially if it is lived with dogs. The dogs die, and our hearts break with them. And it breaks with them when they become sick and die too soon, and then we feel robbed. And sometimes it is not a traditional sickness but an inability to live with the animal itself.
Therefore, I have learned, loving dogs is dangerous on the heart. It is not an easy undertaking. Nothing can break your heart like a dog. But nothing can love you like a dog, either, or can be more beautiful or beneficial to your life. Think of a gorgeous Irish Setter running in a field, or a Standard Poodle in a show ring competing for Best in Show, or the haunting beauty of a Borzoi, or a perfectly white Maltese in full coat being judged on a table. The love of my dogs has been more comforting to me than any human love that I have ever known. My history with human love has been marred by violence, betrayal, abuse and abandonment. But not so with dogs. They are my constant rock I go to when I need to lean on when I suffer. Human love has failed me time and time again. I only have my dogs for love and comfort. I feel safe when I look at my life that way. I feel sorry for people who do not have that kind of love in their lives. After all, people will disappoint you.
Addendum: It would not be fair if I did not correct the impression I gave regarding my friend’s young borzoi. After a difficult period of acting out and getting neutered, he has settled down nicely and become the loving companion dog she wished for from the start. The story has a happy ending for her after all. I am so pleased.