After a very long absence, with the exceptions of writing samples from a writing group with the Beacon Unitarian Universalist Congregation in Summit’s Writing Group, I have not written about anything in a long time. Winter is not a good time for me. It’s bleakness, cold and extended darkness weigh me down heavily. But I have not been idle.

I have strived to reach out to borzoi owners who have borzoi related to Magnus through Mericlone and Spiral. There is a breeder and exhibitor in Israel who bought a male from Olga Barkovsky in Russia, from a breeding by Majenkir Russian Cedar. She has since bred Tzar, and recently he had 11 puppies.

There is a woman in South Carolina who bought three males from Frances Wright. One was from a litter through Mericlone, and two were from a litter through Spiral. Magnus has hundreds of puppies from these breedings with Spiral and Mericlone around the world.

This does not count the number of puppies he sired while he lived in Japan, who are also around the world. The most notable one is his daughter, Int Ch JP Belisarius My Sassy Girl, Lucy. Lucy, too, was bred more than once so the legacy goes on around the world with her get.

Resistance

The beginnings of resistance behaviors for me began in my home during childhood.  It made my life very difficult, and I could see the same problem presented itself to  my brother and sister growing up .  My parents came to marriage and parenthood  highly unskilled, with bad or no role models, and low self-esteem.    I, being the eldest and seemingly the most intelligent, had am almost clairvoyant insight into their problems which caused me to have anxiety, of which I was aware at a very young age, and only grew stronger as I grew up.  It seems they, too, had parents highly unskilled as parents and riddled with anxiety and they projected these characteristic onto them.  I saw a cycle in development, like a wheel with sharp spikes, and it was headed right toward me, as a dangerous object in my father’s hand, that he was willing to throw at me intending to do harm.

 So yes, at an early age, I began to practice resistance to my parents’ policies which were unable to be obeyed because you could never be good enough.  I became good at this and applied it throughout my life in relationships, at school, and in my career.  I learned how to perform resistance strategies as a defense mechanism to mitigate the damage that would come my way, to the frustration of my tormentors.  This is really all I want to say about this.  I think eventually all people encounter some monster or another that seeks to do them harm.  You can either become mortally wounded by it, or you can become very creative at developing resistances that dovetails with the tormentor wishing you harm and always staying one step ahead.

It is a new year, and it seems with every new year, as with every new day, there are its own unique new problems. Last winter I will ill, primarily, I could not get out of bed. When I did, I ate something and spent the rest of the day on the sofa, not able to do much of anything except taking care of the dog. In order to avoid that predicament this winter, I signed myself up for several volunteer activities in town and in my church, and now I feel as if I am too busy and wish I could be alone more and had more time to rest. The new year finds me with a totally corrupted Windows operating system on my computer, causing me to get a new one. Fortunately, all of my files are backed up through a company with whom I have a license to do this for me. They can retrieve and download my lost data, a task which I expect to be completed tomorrow.

I have a great deal of dog club work on my computer, especially for The Borzoi Club of Central New Jersey, especially going back to 2010 , but my other dog clubs in which I hold membership as well. Believe it or not, Winter is approaching its end as of today because the time is now to sign up for the Spring shows: the Borzoi Club of America’s Annual National Specialty Show in Virginia Beach, VA in late April, and a cluster of dog shows with some other clubs to which I belong the days of My 5 – 7, 2023 in Bethlehem, PA. I am looking forward to all of these shows with great enthusiasm.

The winter brings with it a severe cold again, as it did last winter, around the Christmas – New Years holidays. I am totally stricken and stay in bed suffeing from a wretched sinus infection. I know I should be grateful I do not have the flu or COVID, but I wallow in my misery because I am so totally miserable, nonetheless. It has exa.cerbated my desire to not get up and out of bed in the morning. So again, I struggle.

Where does all of this take me, I ask? I cannot be happy for several months a year; and I cannot be well during the holiday season when I am stricken with such a horrible cold, with lingering negative sequelae? It asks so much of me to just spring up into motion again as if nothing has happened when so much has, rendering me an invalid.

I long for the warm caress of spring air on my skin as Kensie and I walk on the footpaths along the paved or graveled footpaths of the Watchung Reservation. We are always so happy there where nothing can trouble us. There, in the great forest and the fields, nothing can find or reach us with problems, there will be sufficient time a plenty after that. It is so sad my new boyfriends (notice the plural, a joke) cannot be bothered to give me the time of day to join me there. They look so interested when I speak of it, but do not give me a moment of extra time out of their day. to accompany me on a dog walk that fills me with awe, wonder and serenity, things that do not concern them. Why am I their girlfriend, I wonder? Surely, they do not love me one bit.

I will be so much happier when it is the end of April, the weather will be warmer, and I will be getting ready to go to the Borzoi Club of America’s National Specialty Show. How different from the years twenty years ago when I knew so many more breeders and their dogs. It is different now, the people and dogs are all different, but I am good at making new friends, and that is what I am doing. I look ahead and welcome the new people and their dogs that I meet into my life. Fortunately, I still have my loving relationship with my close friend, Frances Wright of Bibikov Kennels, and I try to keep in touch with other breeders whom I respect. I am 72, so many people know me. I know I will die soon, although I must say, there have been some shocking deaths of younger breeders this year. I may be around a while, but I am totally at peace with my life. I have had cancer twice and survived it, but I am not afraid to face it again, knowing I may not be able to survive it three times. When it comes to death, it is easier to be brave than afraid.

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