I’ve been talking too much on the phone, and have not done enough for what needs to be done for Christmas which is coming up fast….. Why is it such a savory pleasure to procrastinate or just spend time on the wrong things…. My weight is even higher than I want it because I have not exercised enough this year and did not have a borzoi that needed walking…… my choices in activities and how I have spent my time are suspect at best and now I feel trapped. I feel activities about which I feel passionate becoming a thing of the past, slipping away…… I long to be free of encumbrances and listening to “how I am going to get rich….” stories from the BF who is destitute, though be it still has a huge heart….. Is there nobody who is All Good, and nobody who is All Bad with whom to make a judgment? Yes, so now I want to run away from romance, not savor it. I am wounded and wish to heal, smothered and wish to breathe. My mind wanders into dangerous landscapes along the terrain of Blyss Kennels: Opal.
Blyss Anniversaries, Blyss Borzoi, and Blyss Future
I realized the date of September 15, 2013 came and went without any special notice by me, for which I reproach myself sharply. It was the tenth year anniversary of the establishment of Blyss Kennels, at the first Blyss Kennels & House on S—– L——, along the Watchung Reservations border in M——–. Perhaps it would be more accurate to write that the history of Blyss Kennels ended after eight years, when Bob died; or after nine years, since on December 15, 2012 I abandoned the spacious site of the first Blyss House for that of a smaller home and kennel. However, I left with three borzoi so I did not consider it the end. It is a little hard to ignore the end running up on my heels now that I just have one, and he is an old, frail borzoi at that.
I give a lot of thought to the future. I could quietly slip away in the annals of borzoi breed history with my own “Mikhailya” and her puppy, “Magnus”/”Max” in Japan having put us on the map along with Karen Staudt-Cartabona of Majenkir Borzoi kennels. Or, continue to ride the coat tails of the doomed “Opal” story, yet another anniversary I no longer acknowledge, July 7, 2006. Her premature death at less than two years of age changed me irrevocably. Sometimes, we learn that we do not really know ourselves, what is truly important to us and what is not. Sometimes we are as shocked by ourselves as everyone around us watching. Then, we find ourselves awakened from a nightmare where we are total strangers … after all, God having taken the very best…..
No…. none of that has validity anymore. They were milestones to learning what needed to be understood. Looking ahead, I am going to find another Blyss borzoi and have made inquiries and contacts. I am so happy to know this, to know a plan is in the works, even if I cannot reveal it now. But there will be a Blyss Kennels, for sure. Even if there is not a borzoi living here for a while, Blyss Kennels will endure.
The aftermath….. Blyss Storms
There is always the day after, the proverbial aftermath, either of a love affair gone wrong, a prized beloved dog that dies, or the day after a deep snow storm. It is always difficult to face. Even though I am no longer alone, I have the BF and the old borzoi, Paris, after all, I see outside the window that I would be overwhelmed by the metamorphis of what happened a mere 24 hours before: a first winter snow storm. Its beauty is marred by the softening of the snow top by melting temperatures and it has all turned soggy. This in turn has made the shoveling difficult. The one and only remaining Blyss Borzoi, “Paris , has no interest in running around in it, his geriatric bones being too tender for such play. Loren Tino is left to his work alone. His night’s sleep was greatly interrupted by Paris’ restlessness. He did he want to be up inside or outside, he could not decide. Loren Tino waits on him paw and paw and missed many hours of sleep because of him. There is much to be done for the solo, geriatric borzoi. They are not so different from human infants. You cannot believe it, but it is somewhat true.
20mg