I have never learned the ABCs of life, nor the XYZs it seems nor anything useful in between. I may as well have the label challenged affixed to me. Where others are able to get through their lives with facile, one marriage, one long lived dog, a few cats and a parakeet, I have had multiple husbands and even dogs. I have tried not only different breeds but varying groups and even many, many parakeets from the old, big Woolworths store I remember in downtown Westfield a long time ago. I suppose if there is a lesson to be learned in the day I miss it. I have to go back to the very beginning and try again. But the outcome is always the same, and the day and those that follow seemingly so perfect descend in a negative trajectory and I must learn something new all over again. Like the Miss Havisham before me, “I know nothing of days of the week, of weeks of the year…..” they all blend together into one congealed mass of time, and that comprises my life, a life lived within the confines of Satis House.
If it is not relevant to the borzoi I do not like to include it in my blog. However this problem impacts my availability to write for now in the Blyss Blog Encore, compile the Blogs in Blyss Blog into a book format, and delays the arrival of my new borzoi, “Jelly”. Instead, I have entered the confines of a rigorous program for people who share an emotional problem I have had for some time, an eating disorder. It seems that I was not doing food very well either. Doctors have informed me that I don’t know how to eat, something so basic but yes, it is true.
It is a tenacious problem. I know for me it has been, ever lurking in the background, always seductive and irresistible, promising perfect, eternal beauty, youth, and even love. But since the eating disorder behaviors are always about something else, one has to be willing to rally the courage to face the darkest demons intent on destroying what your lethal past failed to accomplish.
Please don’t do as I do. Plan a different, smarter course for your life. However, to stumble and fall is human and if so call upon your strengths before you journey too far astray from the true path to your bliss.